Trip to India and back

So after a great year in London, my Short term ICT Visa ended and I returned home. After a week spending time with family, I took the train to Bangalore. I was eager to meet Nat after a long time. After we met for the first time in 2012, and after we split in 2014 in Kochi, and after we met again one last time in 2016 at Chennai on her birthday to bid farewell, and after a year of talking on phone, we were finally going to meet to start it all over again, yet again just in time for her birthday which I wasn't going to miss for the world. I remember clearly the moment when the train slowed down at Krishnarajapuram Railway Station and she appeared in the view sitting there in one of the benches waiting for me. It was such a special moment. We were together once again. And this time it was different. We had overcome all our doubts. We had gone through so many ups and downs over the past many years that we knew that it was much more special this time. Presence strengthens love, absense sharpens it. I was there in Bangalore for 3 months. During this time, I spent all of my time with her working, teaching, travelling, boozing, and building that relationship.

To think now, I won't recommend that behaviour. This way of chasing someone after they have rejected is not only toxic to them, but also to oneself. I should have simply respected her decision and focused on building my own life. The idea that it was a man's responsibility to propose and convince the girl was an archaic one I had picked up form from Indian movies. And that changed me to behave in ways I never thought I would. The fact that eventually it all worked out doesn't take away the fact that I forced this on to her and made it work against what was once her wishes to separate. Having said all that, it was also true that the feelings we had for each other meant that we really wanted to be with each other and it was much more than friendship. She appreciated the fact that I went to such great lengths to win her back, to wait for her over the years, and especially appreciated the fact that I was mentoring her.

After 3 months in India, I was asked to go back to London, this time for 3 more years on a Long Term ICT Visa. This visa enabled people to go to the UK, perform skilled work for a much higher salary (£41K/year) so as to not hurt the local opportunities, with no access to public funds and the time spent wouldn't count towards residency, but all of the same tax rules applied as the rest of the people. Yet again, I accepted it without doing my due diligence. In the winter of 2017, I was back in London for a second stint.